all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
