Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
