He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Randomize
