Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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