Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
