i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize
