At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Randomize
