drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
