i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
20 People Who Caught Their Significant Others Cheating and Hand Over Some Major Karma
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
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This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday