I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor