writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Randomize
