I swear god or herbie drove my car home
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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