HIV tests are more positive than that guy
By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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