he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
