Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Randomize
