Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I just blew my weed a kiss
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize