to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize