I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
