currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Drunk walkin through police station. America
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
