we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
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