your thong is hanging out like whoa
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
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