She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
