i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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