He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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