dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
