talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
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