On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
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Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I need water and some morals
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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