Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Four minutes until I can fart!
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
