I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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