Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
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I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
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I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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