I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
