how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
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