shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Randomize
