I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
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Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
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we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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