Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
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