He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
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