There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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