Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
