Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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