yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
