so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
