so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Randomize
