dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
