she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Randomize
