i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Just pee around me
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Those nachos came to me in a dream
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
