walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
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