I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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