if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
