dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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