she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize