we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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