New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize