Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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