Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize