Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Randomize