i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize