Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
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Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
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I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
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