If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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