Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
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