Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
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