So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
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From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
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That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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