Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Randomize
